Because I Love You

My Dearest,

Let’s get past the cliché, I know you are fine. You always are fine. The truth can be glimpsed only through the eyes of death, and to truly love someone is to love them to death. That’s how I love you. Love declared to one’s lover while alive is no love at all. Isn’t that’s how humanity is? We know how to love someone when they are dead and gone.

For you to know how much I love you, I realize, the love I have for you has to die. Not that love for another will grow, or grows, in me. No. I said forever. Forever is how long I will love you.

It hurts to lose the one you love. Loving and not being loved back hurts a little more. Seeing the one you love love someone else hurts more. But what hurts most is to see the one you love not happy while with you.

You love it far from my arms. You are happy not with me. You laugh more while with someone else. You talk less with me; hell, you don’t talk at all. I have to push you to talk to me. It’s not like we have been together for so long that words have been exhausted and silence talks the loudest. We are yet to, but your aloofness started long before the tango began.

If you love someone as much you wish them happiness even if that happiness is not found with you. I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul, something you will never know, or perhaps you will know when I am gone. I will not try to convince you to love me, to believe me, to come back to the one who loves you in whole. You deserve better than that. You are better than that... Goodbye is the hardest thing to say, yet I have to.

I wish you happiness. I know that happiness can’t be found with me, you believe. And because I love you as much, this love I have for you has to die so you can know I love you so much it hurts, so tenderly I wonder whether you know I cry, so steadfastly that even if you want to go alone I will be waiting when tomorrow comes and when you need someone to ease the pain I will be there for you.

The truth can be glimpsed only through the eyes of death. The love I have for you has to die, because I love you.

Forever,

Because I love You.