When other brains discovered nuclear energy and launched revolutionary mobile money transfer systems in Kenya, I was thinking about sex. “Welcome home, dear. You are tense and look tired,” Lilibeth observes. “Would you like a massage?” “Not now, Lily,” I say as I lean in for a kiss. “Of course, sir,” she replies, and her status light turns from bright green to amber. She goes to the kitchen and leaves me to my machines, the screen in front of me showing the images of the son I never showed how to be a man and a daughter I never protected from the world. The emptiness in my heart is like a tornado, the numbness pounds my brain, and tears cloud my eyes. The sheer nothingness takes hold of my soul and threatens to engulf me entirely. One day I might grieve for my wife, but first, I would have to be convinced that I meant anything to her. But for now, I hold every memory of her back. Instead, I grief for my heart and the pain she caused me, a hurt that snowballs as me