Saturday, April 12, 2014

A soldier lies supine and stares at the wide panoply of stars and luminous darkness that rules the night. He can hear the sounds of nocturnal creatures from a distance in the dark night.

He feels immeasurably small, his mind and body shrinking and alone on a globe perpetually spinning like there’s nothing going on; his thoughts roaming but revolving around one thing: the army and love.


Captain Minn had just talked to his girlfriend and she was like 'Why don't you call me? You don't even have time for me.' Yeah, like he was on holiday. For God's sake he was either dodging the enemy’s bullets, or digging his foxhole that could possibly be his grave.

Well, it is understandable the emotional rollercoaster she might be trapped in, the anger for his abrupt leaving and the dread of daunting lonely days ahead, but that goes for the soldier too.

Majority of women believe that military guys have an array of women shacked up wherever they go for their amusement and have submerged to the culture. This is neither about denying nor confirming that, though.

Living in a world of citizen journalism the radio has become the neighbour. Radio stations have been having discussions about military relationships. Women have their issues – the guy does not have time for her, does not treat her like the princess (lady) she is, he is not emotionally available and is ever travelling. Women will forever be whining, isn’t that the natural order?

            Of all military relationship stressors, 'temporary independence' the woman has when the man is away brings the soldier boys under the weather. They might be guilty of ever travelling and being emotionally unavailable but not treating her like the lady she is (not). Well, they may not be the chivalrous or cry-me-a-river guy she might like, blame it on military brainwashing and training, but honest-to-God, military guys try to be a gentleman.

            The two main killers of military relationships are eternal suspicion and infidelity. While she's thinking that he has an array of women wherever he goes for his amusement, he too is thinking of how she is indulging in a splurge of spending and shenanigans with other men on his dime (if he was stupid enough to leave her his ATM card) and how the 'temporary independence' is putting her into an advantageous position over him.

            And before anyone frowns on that let it be clear that we all are students of experience. People should learn from the experiences of others since no one will live that long to experience it all themselves.

            Story goes that there's this guy (name’s classified) who hates, and doesn't eat, anything female. He was once stationed outside the country, made lots of money, but had left his ATM card with his dear wife (it happens when trust is not a problem) who spend every cent without batting an eyelid. On the day he jetted back, his wife and two kids boarded the same plane. He has never seen them, and he has never remarried.

            During one Classic 105 discussion there was a similar story of a Kenya Defence Forces soldier who had been stationed in Wajir before joining the incursion into Somalia. A Ugandan soldier who had been in Somalia killed his wife and turned the gun on himself (unfortunately he survived to be jailed) because she had squandered all his AU Mission allowance.

And 28-year-old Brittni Colleps, teacher and mother, from Texas will serve five years in prison for having group sex with five of her students. Apparently, the husband is in the army and was stationed outside the country at the time the shenanigans happened.

            Well, men wonder why women have intuition only for cheating spouses. They cannot have the sixth sense that their men too face it rough there in the battlefield and they need her emotional support.


            Army love is tough: it takes a strong military man to love, but it takes a stronger woman to love a military man.

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